Feeling Underachieve

For some particular reason, I am feeling very underachieve although I know I have only graduated last summer. Maybe the fact that I am not working with an architecture firm is somewhat frustrating. I am trying to do alot of competition work to try and get some positive results and act as a catalyst to my career, but I have a feeling that I might just be putting myself to much pressure to be successful. I never thought of something like this in the past, but the determination to surpass all my high school colleagues started in university and rised drastically in postgraduate. One thing is for certain, knowing what others have achieved based on what I have been told or seen, Bjarke Ingels made a huge impact on my determination to move even forward. His design thesis is being realised, and when I had time to reflect on my previous design thesis, I am not happy and a redesign in my ahead has already started. The only way to get a commission for that project is to get my cert, but most of all, to know someone inside, a corrupted polictical method we have in Kota Kinabalu. I would only try to convinced them with a presentation and see how it goes. I have my entrance project freelance commission, it took me half a day to design one and I have 6 to show, loved it initially but hating it now, maybe it is just the pressure or not being confident in my own design. It is a good opportunity but I want more, but I know I have to be patient. I think these are just some of the factors that might have affected how I really feel, the need to get a car, the need to get my own house, the pressure to settle down, opening my own firm, to win some competitions, but most of all, to prove myself that I am capable to achieving something at the highest of level. Oh, I know I dont have the brains, but having a pHD would be cool. Started applying internationally, UK is getting worse with employment, Paris, Singapore and Australia, be nice to me.